Dealing With the Loss of A Pet
Death and grief are subjects that are still considered taboo. They are important subjects that I firmly believe that we need to get more comfortable with talking about.
The death of a pet is often a person’s first experience with death and grief. It certainly was for me. There were always pets in the house of one sort or another. The first one I remember was the death of a hamster when I was about 8.
Sadly, in my experience, this is something that is often responded to flippantly by a lot of people. They are not necessarily being cruel, they just don’t understand the impact the loss of a pet can have on some people. Animals are still largely seen as inferior to humans and not something that can be bonded with on the same level as the human bond. I have also witnessed people ridiculed for grieving for their pet with such phrases such as “It was only a cat, not a child” or “You can always get another one” With the last one, in my opinion, it’s like saying to someone who has lost a child “Never mind, you can always have another one.” Animals can indeed be replaced. However, the connection with that one animal cannot be replicated.
For some people, pets are family members. They may also be the only other member of the family. A pet may also be a person’s only friend, the reason they get out of bed in the morning or the comfort they needs when things are tough. Service animals like guide dogs when they die can trigger a loss of independence which can add to the grief felt. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. We all respond differently and have different coping mechanisms. Some people take longer to process feelings and experiences than others as well. Grief does not have a time span or deadline.
The loss that I felt the most was the death of a family cat. He was a great big black cat called Jasper and I was 12. He slept on my bed most nights and had been a sounding board for some of my concerns and fears over the years that we had him. It did feel like I had lost a dear friend. Even at the age of 12, I felt silly. After all, he was just a cat, wasn’t he?
If you are a friend of someone who is grieving, please be mindful of their feelings. You may not feel the same about animals but the pain for them is real and not trivial.
If you are grieving for the loss of a beloved pet, please don’t feel that you are silly or over reacting. Your feelings are normal and valid. Please also do not be afraid to reach out for support from friends, loved ones or professional support services.
Below are some links with advise regarding grieving for a pet. I am in no way affiliated with these organisations.
https://www.humanesociety.org/resources/coping-death-your-pet
The opinions expressed in this post are mine and not a reflection of Kelp Social.
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